If Oprah became a Melburnian for a day…

What would happen if Oprah stepped into the shoes of an everyday Melburnian? Stephanie Corsetti speculates about how the day would unfold.

Oprah Winfrey is coming Down Under. The excitement of this news is contagious, just look at the reaction of Oprah’s studio audience. American women of all ages were crying tears of joy and going into cardiac arrest when they learned that Oprah was taking them to Australia for a whirlwind trip in December during her final season.

Oprah’s Aussie plans will soon be finely tuned with a minute-by-minute schedule in place for the TV queen.  If Oprah does head to my homeland of Victoria, would she even have to deal with life’s little daily stresses? Well, here’s an itinerary of the real Melbourne that I prepared for her, including the everyday hassles we all face.

8.30AM: Oprah could start her Melbourne tour waiting for a delayed train, sipping a skinny cappuccino purchased from a coffee cart and swing by a cupcake bakery in the city, sampling a delicious treat.

 

 

 

A box of treats from Little Cupcakes, Degraves St, Melbourne

 

11.30AM: After scaling the smelly aisles of the Queen Victoria Market for a few hours, purchasing cheap, tacky souvenirs, it’s lunch-time. Oprah searches for a suitable Lygon Street venue with authentic Italian tucker. Handsome men loiter outside their establishments eagerly throwing compliments at O, trying to lure her inside. Oprah tires of the harassment and settles for a decadent but over-priced hot chocolate at Koko Black instead. Miss O enjoys her indulgent beverage so much, she raves about it on TV and consequently, Koko Black’s sales go through the roof. A photo of Oprah posing with the chocolate chefs is proudly displayed in the store’s window. O publicity is priceless.

2.06PM: Oprah decides an afternoon of sight-seeing down the coast is in order. The gang voyage down the Neapean Highway, crawling through the traffic but enjoying the beach views and fresh seaside breeze.

7.11PM: Upon returning to Melbourne, the limo parks in the heart of town. The producers of Mary Poppins squeeze Oprah and friends into a sold-out evening performance of the hit musical. At interval, they all join the ridiculously long queue for the bathrooms at her Majesty’s Theatre, talking to randoms in line. Oprah is so busy chatting away, she misses the first few minutes of Act II. The elated post-show mood shifts to shock when a parking fine is waiting on the car window, flapping in the wind, mocking Oprah and her entourage.  

Who knows what Oprah’s trip will really be like. Judging by the audience’s enthusiasm levels, Oprah’s fans would probably rave about their painful Australian sunburn. So if you hear American-style screams on the streets this summer, let’s hope Oprah has stepped out of her sheltered private tour and is living it up, Melbourne style. 

 

TICKETS! Register for Oprah’s Australian shows at the Sydney Opera House

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